haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
