I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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