he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
