the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
