Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
