I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
why do cheetos always look like penises
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The Olympian is in my bed
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
