he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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