I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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