All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
