They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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