i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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