PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Is it penis luge time yet?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
