so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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