Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
false alarm, still single
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
