yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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