wakey wakey hands off snakey
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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