I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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