I think i peed on brittanys purse
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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