i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
