I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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