Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
