i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
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