dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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