how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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