Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she pinky promised me she was 18
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
