im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
