We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
