idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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