So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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