Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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