did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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