Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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