I wish life had little blips of pornography
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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