he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
