I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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