So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
