Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
