Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
