i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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