Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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