weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
