I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
