Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
