the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
