I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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