So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
