Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
