haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
