Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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