it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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