i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
