I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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