i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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