wakey wakey hands off snakey
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
