Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
