wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
