your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
