ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
