Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
