I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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