Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
vagina is talking i cant
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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