why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
